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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

::Cross My Heart::


I wonder why is it that I always update whenever exams are near? It's like I'm doing everything I can to stall from studying. XD But firstly, I must say I'm so so so sorry bloggie! TwT Since my last results didn't sit well with me Dad, he took Gin-kun away! >< True, I could have updated during my one hour slot. >> But between spamming and dozing off, I didn't bother. I'm such a mean person. T_T Then again, life has been pretty quiet so I had nothing to say anyway. x)

Well, we celebrated me Dad's 50th birthday over the weekend. :) It wasn't as grand as I thought it would be, but it was great nonetheless. The highlight definitely was the look on his face when a hundred family and friends yelled Suprise! He looked stunned. xP He had a fantabulous time and must have enjoyed all the sugary words everyone said about him. x] I got to meet a buddy I missed dearly so I didn't die of boredom. I mean, c'mon, I was surrounded by oldies the entire night. =P

Well, since I can't think of more happy stuff, time for my dilemmas~ Wheee~ xD First up, I just realized how quick time is. There's only a little bit left of the year now. I shudder to think of my final year. Despite having a plan, it's still kinda scary to think about the future. .__. Plus, all me morning buddies are seniors. Next year, my mornings are gonna be super quiet with all of them gone. T^T I wonder if that's payback for wanting more alone time? ^^lll Oh well, I have zero intentions on finding out. xP

Now for my most important problem: a prezzie. =O How the heck am I gonna go about this? == The lack of ideas is driving me crazy. I'm so nervous I'm gonna mess it up bad; or worse, the prezzie is hated. ._. Of course you won't say it to my face, but there's always a chance you won't like it. Plus, I suck at doing fancy smancy effects but I have to. This is really special. >.< I have no idea what else I can do. T_T Then, once it's done, I'm sure I'm gonna second guess giving it to you. Gosh, I'm such a wreck. -o-

and I do want to show you,
I will run to you for you,
'til I can't stand on my own anymore~

Sunday, July 3, 2011

::Smile::


Gosh, my feet hurt a lot. =O It didn't bother me much earlier but now it's starting to really shine through. -o- Ah well, I did go for that run thing and the trip over to Giant just made it worse, honestly. xD Today was also the English Society Camp and there were loads of highs and lows. The shoddy planning and abrupt changes in plans really got on my nerves today. == Yet somehow, through it all, I managed to squeeze in some laughs and fun too~ Plus, I went totally hyper so that helped. x)

Sadly, a devastating thing happened today. Zachary went poof damn it! T^T My darling that's been with me for three and a half years. Loyally putting up with all the falls and glomps in classes. Sticking around when times were rough and depressing. How could I have lost you? I'm the worst person in the world! >.< I think I might just start crying now that I've lost my precious water bottle. It may seem silly to most, but he's been there more times than I'd like to count. R.I.P. beloved Zachary. =/

On a brighter note, today is Judith Mary Meredith Mohan Sheela George's birthday! =D Woots~ This lovely lady was born today sixteen years ago. It should be a national holiday or something! x3 Sadly, I didn't get to spend the epic day with her. She's pretty much like a celebrity now; to meet her, you need to make an appointment with the lady months in advance. =P Shove some stuff off your busy weekends and hang out with us! We miss you a lot and it's more fun with your awesomeness around. ^-^ You better have a fantabulous day today or else bunnehs will haunt your dreams. XDD

Judith Mary Meredith Mohan Sheela George! I LOVE YOU~!! =]

let's pretend the cupcakes are cakes & eat them at our staircase~

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

::Crazier::


Oh. My. God. I'm now officially sixteen. SIXTEEN. Don't feel much different, no wiser than I was before, not taller than yesterday and no progress in my academical life. XD Long story short, things are just the usual they always are. When I woke up on the 18th of June, I felt like it was just a normal day. This is why I hate growing up. The magic of birthdays is starting to fade as I get older. ><

Anywho, on my b-day, I went out to KLCC with me beloved Mom. x) If it weren't for her, I think I would have been contently asleep. =P But no, instead I was out in a huge mall, dressed to impress in my ruffle skirt, bumping into cute foreigners, having an L cake for breakfast, watching X-Men: First Class at the ginormous cinema and having popcorn as my lunch for the day. xD Oh, and I had my first taste of alcohol. It was cheap so it tasted like crap, but I cant wait till I get my hands on the good wine. =3

The next day, I was super beat yet dragged my lazy bum out of bed. It's Father's Day and we kinda sorta had plans to celebrate. The boys drove me nuts with their horrendous timing. -o- Shoddy plans weren't unusual so I was gobsmacked when Reg greeted me and whisked me off for a day out with me buddies. =] It was so cool and I was uber happy since a birthday just ain't right without them. ^^ True, we didnt get to do much, but spending time with you guys is always epic. Plus, I had fudge! Bonus points! XD

P.S. The HAWT pic of L just makes me wanna faint. O/////O

feels like I'm falling and I, I'm lost in your eyes,
you make me crazier, crazier~

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

::Rolling In The Deep::



I humbly apologise to thee, o' awesome bloggie, for ditching you yet again. v_v I wanted to update during the hols, but me and my lazy ass kept stalling. -o- Now the hols have dwindled away and I'm back in school. Man, this sucks super bad~ T^T Anywho, I shall update you on everything I've done, or rather, lack of, things I did during those past two weeks un~ Nothing much really, but it'll do. =3

Weelll~ I got dragged out to the movies by me Mom to watch Kung Fu Panda 2. Now she won't stop rambling about inner peace. == Ah, I also saw the epicly epic Pirates of The Caribbean~ Gawd, it was so good to see Jack Sparrow on the big screen. xD I missed him and his weirdo antics~ Sadly, I have yet to see X-Men, but I'm gonna fix that ASAP. ^^ Next up is the hawt Ryan Reynolds in Green Lantern. I don't think it'll be too great, but Ryan being in it makes it awesome already. x]

Now that Jack is out of the way, it's time for the irrelevant stuff~ XD For one, I didn't lay a finger on the book D2 gave me. I think I'm starting to lose my sanity if my desire to read books is waning like this. .__. On the other hand, me Mom bought an oven! Finally! =D To test run it, we bought some ingredients and whipped up some cookies. x3 I admit, for a total noobie to bake for the first time, they turned out pretty okay. ^-^ I cant wait to see how it'll taste like when I get good at it~ x)

Oh yeah, I joined another MEP too. =] It's starting to get on my nerves though. >> Vegas kept giving me issues and I had to redo the same thing three times. -.- Masking is a total pain, especially after doing the same clips again and again. Adding to my bad mood, I got a few results back. I did as horribly as I pictured but at least I can now proudly declare I have failed a paper. =3 Hey, that's just life, ain't it? ^w^ Ah well, I guess I better prepare for the consequences. Pray for me bloggie. >.<

there's a fire starting in my heart,
reaching a fever pitch,
and it's bringing me out of the dark~

Saturday, May 21, 2011

::I've Got A Jar of Dirt::


Yush~ I have returned to thee o' wondrous bloggie~ *proceeds to glomp bloggie until both turn blue* Anywho~ I'm supposed to be studying my butt off for Physics and Chem, but I'm hardly in the mood. >< This is so gonna cause a panic attack in the morning. xD Ah well, I'll deal with that when I get there. To be honest, I have no idea why I'm here. ^^ I have absolutely nothing to babble about. xP

Since I can't get the image of Jack Sparrow out of me head, I shall rant to thee, o' mighty bloggie, about him. ^-^ If I could be anyone for a day, I'd pick him without a second thought. XD It would be so cool if I had that weirdo swagger and illogical logic of his~ =] Well, I already have the illogical logic bit. I guess I just need to get some rum for that funny swagger of his, eh? x)

Plus, I'd also have a reason to scream "I've got a jar of dirt!" without sounding like a total lunatic. =D I mean, if there was this Captain-Octopus-Thingy after me with his heart locked up in some rusty old chest, I reckon I totally get to say it. =3 Most importantly, I get a huge ship and boss people around cause I'm the captain! =O So I'd be sixteen, own a humongous ship, be a captain of a crew of pirates, plunder the seven seas and have a jar of dirt.

I. Have. SO. Lived. XD

Monday, May 2, 2011

::Letters to Juliet::


Bloggie! -glomps- I've missed you so~ T^T Blah, with my Dad confiscating Gin-kun again, I honestly don't know when I'll update again. >< It's so saddening to not have a place to rant anymore. =O So I shall rant to you as much as possible about what's being going on lately. ;) Prepare for all the drama~! xD

First off, I'll blab to you about Shoelace. ^^ Who cares about that secrecy promise? x) So bloggie, I was just bumming around, waiting for Fluffy to poof up when BOOM! I got a message from the dark side~ xD I read it three times. Once, to properly grasp the message. Twice, to let the weirdo words sink in as annoyance flitted. Thrice, to control myself after laughing my butt off. =3 It's amusing to see just how much I've grown and how you've done the opposite. xD

Anywho, moving on~ Next up is about Moldiebutt and Keychain~ ^^ Gawd, they resemble those lousy, cliche novels I used to read purely because: a) I was flat out broke to buy a decent one or b) I was curious to see the end of the train wreck. A pretty big part of me is hoping things don't work out cause dude, you are totally awesome while she is anything but that. == Plus, the two of you together is just creepy. O_o

And now I present to thee, o' epic blog, the worst part yet. It all summarizes up to one distasteful word I wish would die and never return again: Exams. -.- It wouldn't be an understatement to say that you, oh loathsome exams, are the bane of my existence. I'd perish you, but my Rule The World With Cookies plan still hasn't panned out yet. Just you wait. Someday, you will be banished from this world and children all over will rejoice~><

To counter all the bad gibberish, I've got something sweet. =] Since Gin-kun is poofing, I was depressed when I realized I'd be gone for twenty eight days. That's almost a month without you! T_T So, I was on cloud nine when I sneaked on to look for you. Yeah, you weren't there, but you left a note for me instead. It said you'd write one for each day I poofed cause you wanted to do something to cheer me up. I know I've said this a billion times before but I'll say it again: You're so freaking awesome! ^-^

There's three in total now and I cant wait for the rest~ Each one is so adorable and it brightens up my day lickity split. xD Plus, I can't believe you bothered to do something like this either. Yeah yeah, I remember you said this was a journal thingy so you'll be emotional and cute and junk even though you really really don't want to. xP I can't thank you enough for them though. x] To show my gratitude, I shall equate your awesome-ness to fluffy-ness and use the best fluffy line ever: It's so fluffy I could die! =D

you're my kind of perfect in every single way~

Monday, April 18, 2011

::Follow Me::


After a miserable day at school, my heart weighing down each step I took, consulting my buddies for a solution and apologising profusely, it's amazing how easily things were fixed. =) I love you even more now Bubb for such epic advice. xD Plus, I really need to stop complicating simple things. It's such a rotten habit that makes you worry far too much. Ohmigosh, then I'll have a head of gray hair just like Moldiebutt! xP

Anyway, this is just a silly lil rant of mine since I'm feeling like I'm on cloud nine right now~ I'm glad you can't stay mad at me just like how I can never be angry at you either. ^^ But it still doesn't make the guilt go away though. What I did was wrong and cruel and you showed me kindness when I least deserved it. You're too nice for your own good, you know that? x)

Since I'm pretty sure I can take up half of my blog just rambling nonsense about how epic you are in ways I cant even begin to fathom, I'll just cut this short right here. ^^ Thank you for being with my irritable self these past few months. I know I get annoying at times. I feel like punching myself out too. XD I just want you to know that the day I regret meeting you will never arrive. Never. =]

follow me, everything is all right.
i'll be the one to tuck you in at night~

Sunday, April 17, 2011

::Diamonds On The Floor::


Since my guilt is eating my heart away, allow me to rant about something a tad bit emo-ish to you, eh bloggie? xD I just...I want to say I'm sorry, as meaningless as that may be now. I hurt you. I was an inconsiderate ass. I knew how much it signified to you and yet I considered it as a petty thing. I forgot about your feelings and only thought solely of mine.

You've been through hell and back. There are things you still haven't told me. Painful things you still keep buried within. To be honest, part of me is glad you do for my heart aches to know of your pain. I wish I apologized to you. I wish I didn't act like my typical stubborn self. But it doesn't matter now. I can't take away the pain I caused, pain that has been inflicted more than once, and that shall haunt me until time ends.

I know there are times you feel like giving up. To just throw everything away. I would understand if you do that, but I'm hoping you don't. I'm selfish when it comes to you. You and I both know that. But if I'm hurting you and I don't even notice, maybe it's best to let you go. I want you to be happy, whether I'm in the picture or not because I love you regardless of it all.

promises mean everything, but once broken, sorry means nothing.

::A Walk To Remember::


Yup, it's true, one of the awesome-est person alive is now sixteen! Everyone, please give a standing ovation to the beautifulest person, both inside and out: Regina~! =] Gawd Bubb, how quick time flies. I thought this day would come eons later. xD Yush, I know I'm a horrible liar when it comes to keeping stuff from you, but I can't help it. I tell you far too much. x]

Anywho, the day went pretty cool I think. =D Of course, the lack of people plus the fact we only barely raided one shop was a bit depressing, but I think the venue I picked out for you was kinda awesome~ x) And I know that he-who-has-a-name-like-Swordfish being there meant a lot to you. I'd love to have given you more time, but your Mum would have killed me. xD

You know, I only realized after taking my camera out when I got home that we didn't take any pictures. T^T Another birthday that will be swept up and mixed with the next good memories to come. But I'm not too bummed about it though. Yesterday was awesome, you had a fabulous time and, in the end, that's all that matters. =] Gosh I love you Bubb~ Thanks for sticking by me all this time.

Happy Sweet Sixteen!

i'll keep our memories locked in a jar.
they may be forgotten in time,
but they live on in my heart anyway.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

::Surreal Illusion::


Ello bloggie~ ^^ Yeah, I've got absolutely nothing to crap about so instead, I shall bore you to death with this thingy. xD I got the image of an ethereal lady slowly unraveling in golden threads when I was in school. So I came home, sat down with Gin-kun, let my imagination run wild and voila~ Utter gibberish. x)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With just a glance, anyone would have been captivated by this ethereal beauty. I was the same when I first saw her and even now I’m still mesmerized. She has long blonde hair, cascading down to her mid-back in shimmering waves of golden. Her face is soft with a gentle curve adorning her pale lips, high cheekbones and two pools of ocher that soothes and warms even the coldest hearts. Flawless skin complimented her as perfectly as the simple yet elegant white dress on her slender form.


Standing in a field of swaying flowers, her skin radiated a soft tawny hue from the sunset’s dying rays. My heart twisted and ached when those bright orbs slipped shut and a smile spread across her face. It echoed such melancholy and bittersweet happiness. Her musical voice, mirroring the resonating tinkling of wind chimes, whispered to me. But I turned a silent ear to her words. I refused to hear any of it for deep down in my heart I already knew what they were.


A stinging sensation pricked my eyes and I tore my gaze away from her to press them shut. Never again did I want to be told goodbye, especially not a farewell from the angel that lent me strength when I was crippled with pain. A melodious chuckle filled the air and my heart crumpled further. It hurt to think that this would be the last time I would hear it. I could feel her imploring me to meet her gaze, to have one final moment for us both to share. Tucking away the pleasant sound to memory, I steeled my nerves and faced her.


Everything I was, my soul, my being, shattered the instant I did. She had turned away from the sun, facing me now as the light haloes her form. Glassy with tears, her gaze was heart breaking whilst her tender poignant smile crushed me far worse than Hell ever could. Warm hands found mine, slender fingers lacing with my shaking ones. I couldn’t help it. What little resistance I had waned away as my walls disappeared into the summer wind. Salty drops of water trailed down my cheeks, cold fire against my skin.


I wanted to yell out, beg and plead for her to stay by my side, not for a day or a week, but forever until time ended. I yearned to tell her how much I love her, how I still desired to find out more about her, how I craved her presence and affection. But my voice had remained stubbornly silent. It was for the better. Those pleas needed time and we had none of that left. As the sun slowly dips past the horizon, I noticed her unraveling. The threads of her existence were slowly coming apart, disappearing in glimmers of radiance that paled in comparison to her light of existence.


My still hands now felt her slight tremors and I squeezed them tightly, offering silent shreds of comfort. She weakly smiled with gratitude but the tears still pooled behind her eyes like a misty haze. From the corner of my eye, I saw the flashes of light had steadily worked their way up, the firm threads tethering her to me unraveling more. My sorrowful gaze sweeps across her face, blinking the tears away to memorize each angelic feature of hers. The unraveling light was already past her waist, trailing up her thin arms.


I pushed that observation to the back of my mind, focusing solely on her. I ached to wrap my arms around her, to hold her just once more, but I didn’t for the pain would have been far too great. She must have sensed it for comfort filled the smile across her lips. Slowly, she spoke words that my numb mind tuned out. The light was now past her neck, locks of blonde that I admired now gone. The time has come. For a long time, I stood rooted to that very spot, staring blankly at my empty clasped hands.


She was gone. No longer would I have someone to pick me up when I fall, to hold me close when my world was collapsing, to light up my world with a smile and a murmur of my name. My knees buckled and I slumped to the floor, fingers digging into the ground with a fool’s hope of it stopping my world from spinning out of control. Then, a warm wind blew past and I felt it brush against my cheeks as though drying my tears. A voice whispered in my ear and I smiled bitterly when her final words gained a voice.

“I love you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For where thou art, there is the world itself.
And where thou art not, desolation.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

::Wedding Dress::

It's so lovely to have a weekend where most of my work is actually completed and I have time to bum around. XD Now, if only the weather would take a break and start pouring. Then it'll be nice and cold and perfect for teensy little cat naps~ ^^ Anyway, there's something I need to confess to thee o' mighty bloggie. Prepare for my weird-ness~ x)

We're friends, though not as close as we proclaim to be. xP I'm there for you when times get rough, and you're there for me when I need someone to distract me. It irritates me how easily the right words find you and you make me feel okay again but I flounder and struggle to figure out just what to say to you. >< Like now, for instance. When you need those words to make everything seem just that little bit brighter, I'm sure I've failed you miserably. =/

Yeah, this isn't exactly the kind of situation I'm familiar with. I may have read it in books, seen it happen to others, but I cant console you properly when I've never been through the same thing. Saying "I know how you feel" would be a horrid lie. Your heart is broken and there's not a single thing I can do to make things alright again. I wish I could just cast a spell that will take all your pain away.

i guess it's too late, i'm dancing this dance alone.
this chapter is done, the story goes on.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

::Beautiful Hangover::

Aah~ Life seems to be going great recently. =] Sure, there still are worries and annoyances and a never ending pile of homework, but it's amazing how a day out and one simple thing can make everything okay. Times like these are when I'm super grateful for having met you. ^^ Anyway, let's move on before I start ranting without end, eh? xD

To be honest, there are a couple of things going on right now. Stuff that I can't even share with you, my precious bloggie nor anyone else for that matter. >< It's a bit complex and too personal to talk about, I'm afraid. Then again, I always knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time after all. >>I just hope this doesn't bring about more chaos to the wreckage left behind.

Anyway, I'm not gonna let that bug me. It's got nothing to do with me and I'll make sure it stays that way. Sides, I've got awesome friends to lean on and someone who makes me happy just by saying hello to me. xD Gosh, these epic people are definitely my silver lining. xP I love you guys! =D

baby you got what i need~ jumping jumping off my feet!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

::Zero::


And I'm alive once more~ xD  While I might not be as busy as some, I've still got stuff to sort out. x) Hence my sudden poof. =P Plus, my exams were a week or two ago. To be honest, I'm super proud I didn't fail anything. ^^ I barely studied and yet got pretty good results. =] It was a happy day indeed~ Well, at least until I got home. But that's a tale for another day. =) For now, I shall rant about happy stuff alone. x]

Yesterday, we celebrated the ra-va-ree model's birthday! ^^ Yeah, it was a super small occasion, what with it being just me, Reg, Losh and Fiona. But still! I have to admit that it was pretty nice with our teensy little group. =D Course, a few things went wrong like the unlit cake and the fact that I kept spilling things on my jeans. ^^lll But the best part had to be when we raided Forever 21. xP That was the first time I ever tried clothes on and waltzed out without buying anything. Fun fun fun! <3

I shall confide in thee a tiny secret though. While that escapade to Forever 21 may have been the highlight for the trio of us, mine was when I got back home. =3 For the first time in my life, I actually called my one and only! x) Yeah, it was pretty awkward but I squealed like a fan girl later. ^-^ It made the ohmyfrgginlord! spaz moment seem ridiculous now. But now I feel closer to you than ever. =] It's both super awesome yet unnerving. Love is weird.

how many people can do it like me? ZERO! xD

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

::Take My Hand::


Woots~ The holidays are finally here~ XD True, it's only a week off, but something is better than nothing any day. ^^ I've been spending the past few days just listening to music, kinda reading me bookie, kicking back and bumming on the couch plus finally getting to writing Waiting For Dawn. x] Oh yeah, I've also been having strange dreams. x) I can't remember the ones I had before, but I made extra sure I remembered the one from last night. =]

I think the dream was caused by Loki and I who were talking about old England and ballrooms with warm lights and Victorian style dresses. xP We conjured up the image of a couple waltzing under the chandelier, soft hum of music playing as everyone else fades into background. That's pretty much the exact same scene in my dream except for a few changes here and there.

For one, Adam replaced the blondie gentlemen in the image. XDD Thankfully, I wasn't in one of those fancy smancy poofy dresses~ ^-^ But the dress was utterly lovely anyway. =) Plus, instead of having center stage in the ballroom, we were outside, in a rose garden, I think, where Adam was trying to teach me to dance and failing miserably. =3 It was super awesome and I was super hyper when I woke up. =P I'm gonna go and write it out just in case I forget. Toodles~ x)

take my hand. take a step. pull me close. and take one breath~

Monday, March 7, 2011

::Save You::

Ohmigosh~ Exam week. xDD But of course, since I'm here when I'm supposed to be revising History says a lot, doesn't it? x] Sure, there's this teensy little part of me that cares a bit about my results. For the most part, however, I don't really care much for it. ^^ Anywho~ There's one and one reason alone for my awesomely presence here. I feel the need to rant about stuff. x) Bear with me bloggie~ =] By the way, this is a jumbled mess of complexities so don't bother trying to sort them out. =P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whenever I look out at the rain, my mind paints a kaleidoscope of images. Some I cling onto desperately and some I try my best to avoid with all I have. Yet, when I piece them together, everything seems painfully right and horrifyingly wrong. They are the same pieces to one puzzle but have no place together. Outcast pieces that are tossed away leaving the picture incomplete but so rightfully finished.

But I always return and pick them up and try and fix them back into place again and again. Tis such a hopeless feat. Yeah, I'm clearly aware that the pieces wont ever fit and the picture is still hazy, but I'm giving up on it all now. The closer I get to the actual picture, those hurtful bits are brought to startling sharpness and bring about pain that was better left hidden...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At times, I feel like kicking and screaming and yelling out what I feel deep inside. Yeah, I know, you mean well. But it just frustrates me so much that I'm shoved back to the ground right after I stumble back up. To hammer at a wall that refuses to crumble. To feel fragments of my will shatter away merely because you don't listen. My heart aches and sometimes even tears can't cure it.

It just hurts knowing you'll never see things the way I do and there's nothing I can do about it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

take a breath, i pull myself together.

Monday, February 28, 2011

::Lucky::


Boo. xD Ugh, looks like I keep poofing away from you. xP Even though I totally neglect my homework, I cant seem to find the time to even update these days. == Anywho~ I'm kinda in a mess right now. >> Well, for one thing, my exams are next week. == I'm so totally fumbling for this one. Ah well, least I finally get to say I flunked my papers besides Art. x]

Anywho, next up is a hell lot trickier to solve. It's pretty irritating to be honest. Most of the times, I have zero doubts about the path I'm on. But at times, when I catch a glimpse of something else, I waver as much as it pains me to say it. =/ Bah~ This is why I never wanted to get involved with this kinda rubbish before. Drama galore ensues every single time. xD

Oh, would you look at that, I actually have something happy-ing to worry about. =3 The ra-va-ree model's birthday is coming up soon. Since it's on the eve of the exams which is uber lame, looks like it's gonna happen only during the school holidays. Here's the thing though. It's her 16th birthday. It's gotta be special and whooaaa and amazing and fantabulous. xDD

To try and calm my frazzled mind, I shall now go and brainwash myself with Lucky and hopefully figure out a better way to relieve my sudden waves of stress and useless thoughts. x) Toodles~ ^^

as the world keeps spinning me 'round, you hold me right here~

Friday, February 18, 2011

::Hot and Cold::

Once again, I've done an absolutely epic job at totally neglecting you. My bad~ ^^;; Ugh, I've been feeling sick lately. It's getting on my nerves. == I wish there was ice cream that could cure all kinds of sickness. xD At least then I'd gladly take my medicine. xP Ah well, the world ain't perfect so it may take some time till they invent man's greatest dairy product invention. xDD

Let's see~ What have I got to spill eh? x] Oh, how bout my life in 4S4? =) Weeelll~ I'd be lying my butt off if I said it's awesome. I really, truly, madly miss my friends. Somehow, this class doesn't seem like...the right fit. >> I dunno~ It could just be me and my weird-ness. =P I'm coping, I'm surviving, but I'm definitely not as happy as before. Meh, life sucks. x3

Ah~ Today felt great~ I told Bubb all about my weirdo dilemmas. It feels good to have someone ask you all the right questions. ^^ But I'm still stuck in this twisted situation. == I'm super afraid I'll make a decision I'd regret later on... >< It  would be heavenly if someone with all the answers I need poofed over and told me what I should do. -__- Life would be a lot less complicated. xP Then again, life wouldn't be life if it didn't suck. xD Guess I'm asking for a tad bit too much, eh? =]

you're yes then you're no~ you're up then you're down~

Saturday, February 5, 2011

::Time After Time::

 

Ello~ XD Ugh, I've been feeling so lazy lately that I've been neglecting me bloggie. ^^lll Sowie~ x] Anywho, I've got some stoof to share. =P First up is the new apple of my eye, Maya-chan~ Aah~ I love this new pup of mine. xP Yeah, she's one hell of a handful and is way too hyper for her own good, but her cuteness is so hard to resist. x] I'm turning into a softy. =3

Anywho~ Ah damn, the hols are slowly coming to an end. >< Man, I really don't wanna go back to school on Monday. I just wanna stay at home and sleep the days away. T^T Plus, I'm a tad bit nervous. Now that I know I'm gonna be in 4S4, I wonder what will happen...? Oh but I swear to God, if I'm class monitor again, I will kill myself. == It's also total proof that I'm cursed to do the dumbest things. -o-

Ooo~ Guess what? xD The other day, my beloved Mom saw this apparently gorgeous cheongsam when she went out. xP I think, if I do decide to attend D2's party, I'm so totally gonna get one. x] Anyways, sides that, I'm starting to get addicted to Time After Time. =) I found the music box version of it (which, by the way, is epicly epic) and I'm so using it for my message tone. ^^ Teehee, toodles~ xD 

if you're lost, you can look, and you will find me~

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

::Uso::

 
Ugh, damn it, I'm in a funk. == I dunno, I feel...drained, kinda. Yeah, I'm still my random self, but there's this itch to just get up, crawl off into some dark corner and brood there for the rest of my life. -.-It feels like all my emotions are facing huge dilemmas and are now in a warped World War III. I think this is the part where a concerned friend puts a hand on my shoulder and says: "Dear, I love you, but I think you need therapy"

Ah, I think I might have figured out the cause for my weirdness. I may be feeling a tidal wave of the total crubley feeling that is loneliness. .w. I didn't get to see my star all day. Well, normally I hate the idea of the same old everyday routine and would jump at any chance to break it. x3 But, just this once, I'd rather not break this particular one. I guess...I miss you. A lot. >> [Bubb, I swear I will murder you if you bring this up in school. ==]

Moving on from my murderous intentions~ x] I'm going out with FiFi and the ra-va-ree model tomorrow. =) YAY~ I finally get to leave the house and hang out with buddies~ I'm sure that this totally lame feeling will poof by tomorrow. And if it doesn't, well, I'm gonna need lots of ice cream. =3 Toodles~ xD

"we" disappeared into the summer wind and we cant go back.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

::Sorairo Days::


Booyah! Holidays~ Sleep~ Relaxation~ More sleep~ xP Aah~ This is exactly what the hols are for. Time to kick back, finally finish reading all my books, go out for movies and ice cream and glare at unfinished homework. =3 Ya know, as much as I dearly love the rain, it's starting to be a pain when I wake up freezing each morning. == Plus, I've been cooped up all the time. I don't even get to see any possible rainbows. xD Sadness~ =P

Anywho~ I've got loads to babble about. Actually, not really, but let's just pretend I do. x] First up on my list would be this big fight the douche and I had. == I won't bother explaining since I'm clearly aware it sounds ridiculously petty from an outsider's point of view. .-. Ah, but let's just say I got seriously pissed off and am now not talking to him. I wonder how much longer I'll last. >>

Next update~ D2 invited me over to their CNY bash. x] Bwahahaha~ I can't wait. I hope it'll be as fun as last year~ =] Ugh, it just occurred to me that this might be the last one they'll have. After this, everyone is gonna graduate and be whisked off to colleges and stuff~ .___. Man, growing up really tanks at times. >_< Peter Pan is so damn lucky. xP Now, to figure out what to wear. -o-

Valentine's Day. .w. Oh, how I've loathed this day. I know some will squeal and are itching to declare their undying love for some dude but I honestly can't fathom the need for such a holiday. -___- Even with my precious star, I still don't feel the buzz. Maybe I'm weird? Scratch that, I'm definitely weird. x] Eh, but I've never been in this position before. I wonder if I should make something. >w> Ah well~

Mm, that's all I can think of for now. Ugh, brain so totally not functioning right these days. xDD Let's pray that it's due to a lack of sugar and not something lame like a lack of veggies. -o- Toodles~ x]

words you gave me that day, even now, definitely reach my heart~

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

::Kiss The Rain::

 Ah, well, I'm bored and feeling pretty emo so just ignore my ramblings, yeah? =] I need a place to vent and, oh, would you look at that? My blog is the victim~ >:D Tee-hee. xD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes, when I'm with you, I truly wonder..do you see me for me? Have you ever did? Or have I merely been someone who seems like bits and pieces of people you knew? When I look at myself in the mirror, sadness tinges my eyes as tears pool. Is there anything, even a a tiny single shred, of myself that rests in your heart? Something I can truly call my own?

A part of me that kindles memories only I can create. A part that is special and unique and different than anything else. A part of me that leaves me assured that once I leave, I know I'd have made an impression on your heart. Not just mere footprints imprinted on the sand that disappears with the waves and forgotten in time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, I wish I would just fall off the face of Earth. Or build up walls so high that no one can see past; so that the world remains oblivious to the me that is slowly crumbling, the one who sheds tears, the one who gets hurt easily by things you say. Many many times, I've bit my tongue and stopped myself from yelling out what I feel and how you make me feel.

I'm the person I am, not someone you want me to be. I can never be the person you want me to mold after. I want you to stop comparing others to me and finally see myself for me. Appreciate who I am as a person instead of pointing out all my flaws that I try hard to overcome. For once in my life, wont you just see me for me...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

although your heart is mine, it's hollow inside.
i never had your love, and i never will.

Friday, January 21, 2011

::Barriers::

 
Ha, I think I'm developing a habit of updating just minutes before tuition. xD Anywho~ Thank the Lord today is a Friday~ x] I should be saying that since now I actually have time for homework. >> But nah~ I'm saying it purely cause now I have time to laze about and think about doing the pile of homework. xP

Booyah~ Chinese New Year hols are coming up~ =3 Oh, and I heard something interesting. Apparently, they're gonna reshuffle the entire Form 4 and it'll be effective right after the hols. Wonder if I'll be bunked up with my friends? Yes? No? Fingers crossed~ >w<

Bleeek~ Today has been a bit...lonely I suppose. .-. I mean, what with the ra-va-ree model refusing to talk to me, my VP poofed during recess (probably for orch stuff) and my star MIA today~ I don't mind really. Recess was bearable and I finally got to read Thirst at home. =P Sides, Loki kept me company. ...that guy, I'm seriously wondering if we should keep hanging out. == For his sake and mine.

-sighs- My life has now gotten more bothersome. How utterly irritating. -o- Argh, I better go~ It's either the van popping outta nowhere and honking the tranquil silence apart or my brother barging in to scramble and get ready for tuition. To be honest, I have no idea which is more annoying. -.-

all we're doing is building more walls, now there's too many barriers.

Friday, January 14, 2011

::Like A Prayer::


Oh. My. God! xD I officially love Aspirasi a lot more now. x] Since I spent most of last year in that room with Evan, Adrian and Reg, I took my songs and stories along to kill time when we weren't doing any work. Hallelujah~ Waiting For Dawn was on it too~~ Bwahahaha~ Now I can continue it~ That is, if I feel the urge to continue it. Right now, where I stopped is way way waaay behind from the part on my lappy. T.T

Bah~ Whatever~ =3 Anywho, I'm so glad today is Friday. xD School has been getting better, I guess, but I still have no urge to wake in the mornings. -.- But I think that's partially cause of the awesome dreams I've been having~ Ah well~ As long as my days aren't utterly horrid, I'll live. =D On the brighter side, tomorrow's a weekend~ Finally~ Sleep. x] Which will be cut down from a massive load of homework. I swear, the teachers have some vendetta against us that involves killing our brains. ==

It's raining every day now which is totally epic. ♥ Except me getting cold in school, nothing beats a rainy day~ ^-^ Well, except for L, but he's the exception for pretty much everything. x3 Bah~ Looks like I gotta go. It's totally saddening, but tuition awaits me. Ah well, I can always just type. I get my best ideas on the trip over. xP Toodles~ =]

it's like a dream, no end and no beginning~
you're here with me, it's like a dream~

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

::My Love::

 

YAY~ I'm happy and hyper~ xD Which should be insane since Maths and History tuition await my awesomely presence. Great. -.-  Anywho~ I really have no idea why I'm updating when I have absolutely nothing to say. Ah well, most of my spams are nonsensical and filled with utter gibberish anyway~ And yet, you like them? So so weird~ xP

Ah~ School has turned out to be pretty okay these past few days. Guess it just took a little getting used to. ^^ Plus, my lessons are waaaay more interesting. But, as usual, there are times when I've almost thwacked my head on the table thanks to being  drowsy and when my mind has wandered off to someplace far far away in the starry sky. =3 Sadly, I always end up getting dragged back to plain old planet Earth. Ewwie~ >w<

Ugh, anywho~ I gotta go. It's like 5 minutes and counting till my awesome limousine *coughcoughcrappyvancoughcough* arrives so~ I better jet. x3 Toodles~~ ^^

you're nothing short of my everything~

Monday, January 10, 2011

::Being Free::


 
 Whooaaa~ I can't believe I finally told them. xD Took me three months to do it too. How lame is that, eh? :3 Anyway~ It feels great to get that off my chest~ But, it kinda creeps me out how  I feel things are gonna end soon. >> Then again, it's not like I didn't expect it. x] Call it me being a pessimist~ But I have that sinking feeling in my gut when I know I'm screwed. Like when having to hand in homework. >~<

Moving on~ School was incredibly awesome today. Probably since I sat next to Meredith today. =P While I realize this is selfish, I wish I was always sitting with her. School doesn't seem like such a lousy drag when there's someone to laugh with. =] Still, it's sooo odd. I'm surrounded by people, some near and some far, yet I feel so lonely. Is this those life problems people talk about? Frankly, I'd rather a mid life crisis when I get older. x3

Anyways, I'm gonna go and drown this stupid and absolutely absurd loneliness in something more...productive. Bwahahahaha~ Here I come cookies and SuJu~ Be afraid. Be very afraid. >:3

make a wish. take a chance. make a change. and breakaway~

::Tell Me Goodbye::

First off, whoa~ I haven't updated my blog in ages~ Then again, what else is new? xD But I'm pretty sure the neglect is due to Gin-kun breaking down and all my stories flying out the window. == Hence why Waiting For Dawn is gonna be put on hold. Bah~ This is definitely what I call Depression 101. -.-

Anywho~ Updates galore~ Weeelll, I went to prom on the 23rd of Dec. It wasn't exactly what I imagined it to be, but it didn't suck as badly as I thought it might. x] All in all, I had a pretty nice time. Course, I pretty much glued myself to my chair. Dancing is so not my forte. xP Sadly, that includes most things too.

Oh yeah, school started up. I gotta say, before, I had the slightest urge to attend so I'd at least goof off with my friends. Now, I dread getting up every morning. Hence why I'm here minutes before school. x3 Seriously though, there's now zero appeal to school and I feel lonely most of the time. .w. So not what I dreamed of. T-T

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it does. I don't know why, but something is gnawing at me. I hate this feeling. Why does it feel as though I've lost my trust in you? I'm sure I've jumped to conclusions, but I didn't think it would hurt this much. Sometimes, I wish I could disappear forever and have the world say goodbye.

tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye, those hands that embraced me.