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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

::Beautiful Hangover::

Aah~ Life seems to be going great recently. =] Sure, there still are worries and annoyances and a never ending pile of homework, but it's amazing how a day out and one simple thing can make everything okay. Times like these are when I'm super grateful for having met you. ^^ Anyway, let's move on before I start ranting without end, eh? xD

To be honest, there are a couple of things going on right now. Stuff that I can't even share with you, my precious bloggie nor anyone else for that matter. >< It's a bit complex and too personal to talk about, I'm afraid. Then again, I always knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time after all. >>I just hope this doesn't bring about more chaos to the wreckage left behind.

Anyway, I'm not gonna let that bug me. It's got nothing to do with me and I'll make sure it stays that way. Sides, I've got awesome friends to lean on and someone who makes me happy just by saying hello to me. xD Gosh, these epic people are definitely my silver lining. xP I love you guys! =D

baby you got what i need~ jumping jumping off my feet!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

::Zero::


And I'm alive once more~ xD  While I might not be as busy as some, I've still got stuff to sort out. x) Hence my sudden poof. =P Plus, my exams were a week or two ago. To be honest, I'm super proud I didn't fail anything. ^^ I barely studied and yet got pretty good results. =] It was a happy day indeed~ Well, at least until I got home. But that's a tale for another day. =) For now, I shall rant about happy stuff alone. x]

Yesterday, we celebrated the ra-va-ree model's birthday! ^^ Yeah, it was a super small occasion, what with it being just me, Reg, Losh and Fiona. But still! I have to admit that it was pretty nice with our teensy little group. =D Course, a few things went wrong like the unlit cake and the fact that I kept spilling things on my jeans. ^^lll But the best part had to be when we raided Forever 21. xP That was the first time I ever tried clothes on and waltzed out without buying anything. Fun fun fun! <3

I shall confide in thee a tiny secret though. While that escapade to Forever 21 may have been the highlight for the trio of us, mine was when I got back home. =3 For the first time in my life, I actually called my one and only! x) Yeah, it was pretty awkward but I squealed like a fan girl later. ^-^ It made the ohmyfrgginlord! spaz moment seem ridiculous now. But now I feel closer to you than ever. =] It's both super awesome yet unnerving. Love is weird.

how many people can do it like me? ZERO! xD

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

::Take My Hand::


Woots~ The holidays are finally here~ XD True, it's only a week off, but something is better than nothing any day. ^^ I've been spending the past few days just listening to music, kinda reading me bookie, kicking back and bumming on the couch plus finally getting to writing Waiting For Dawn. x] Oh yeah, I've also been having strange dreams. x) I can't remember the ones I had before, but I made extra sure I remembered the one from last night. =]

I think the dream was caused by Loki and I who were talking about old England and ballrooms with warm lights and Victorian style dresses. xP We conjured up the image of a couple waltzing under the chandelier, soft hum of music playing as everyone else fades into background. That's pretty much the exact same scene in my dream except for a few changes here and there.

For one, Adam replaced the blondie gentlemen in the image. XDD Thankfully, I wasn't in one of those fancy smancy poofy dresses~ ^-^ But the dress was utterly lovely anyway. =) Plus, instead of having center stage in the ballroom, we were outside, in a rose garden, I think, where Adam was trying to teach me to dance and failing miserably. =3 It was super awesome and I was super hyper when I woke up. =P I'm gonna go and write it out just in case I forget. Toodles~ x)

take my hand. take a step. pull me close. and take one breath~

Monday, March 7, 2011

::Save You::

Ohmigosh~ Exam week. xDD But of course, since I'm here when I'm supposed to be revising History says a lot, doesn't it? x] Sure, there's this teensy little part of me that cares a bit about my results. For the most part, however, I don't really care much for it. ^^ Anywho~ There's one and one reason alone for my awesomely presence here. I feel the need to rant about stuff. x) Bear with me bloggie~ =] By the way, this is a jumbled mess of complexities so don't bother trying to sort them out. =P

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Whenever I look out at the rain, my mind paints a kaleidoscope of images. Some I cling onto desperately and some I try my best to avoid with all I have. Yet, when I piece them together, everything seems painfully right and horrifyingly wrong. They are the same pieces to one puzzle but have no place together. Outcast pieces that are tossed away leaving the picture incomplete but so rightfully finished.

But I always return and pick them up and try and fix them back into place again and again. Tis such a hopeless feat. Yeah, I'm clearly aware that the pieces wont ever fit and the picture is still hazy, but I'm giving up on it all now. The closer I get to the actual picture, those hurtful bits are brought to startling sharpness and bring about pain that was better left hidden...

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At times, I feel like kicking and screaming and yelling out what I feel deep inside. Yeah, I know, you mean well. But it just frustrates me so much that I'm shoved back to the ground right after I stumble back up. To hammer at a wall that refuses to crumble. To feel fragments of my will shatter away merely because you don't listen. My heart aches and sometimes even tears can't cure it.

It just hurts knowing you'll never see things the way I do and there's nothing I can do about it...
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take a breath, i pull myself together.