Monday, March 7, 2011

::Save You::

Ohmigosh~ Exam week. xDD But of course, since I'm here when I'm supposed to be revising History says a lot, doesn't it? x] Sure, there's this teensy little part of me that cares a bit about my results. For the most part, however, I don't really care much for it. ^^ Anywho~ There's one and one reason alone for my awesomely presence here. I feel the need to rant about stuff. x) Bear with me bloggie~ =] By the way, this is a jumbled mess of complexities so don't bother trying to sort them out. =P

Whenever I look out at the rain, my mind paints a kaleidoscope of images. Some I cling onto desperately and some I try my best to avoid with all I have. Yet, when I piece them together, everything seems painfully right and horrifyingly wrong. They are the same pieces to one puzzle but have no place together. Outcast pieces that are tossed away leaving the picture incomplete but so rightfully finished.

But I always return and pick them up and try and fix them back into place again and again. Tis such a hopeless feat. Yeah, I'm clearly aware that the pieces wont ever fit and the picture is still hazy, but I'm giving up on it all now. The closer I get to the actual picture, those hurtful bits are brought to startling sharpness and bring about pain that was better left hidden...


At times, I feel like kicking and screaming and yelling out what I feel deep inside. Yeah, I know, you mean well. But it just frustrates me so much that I'm shoved back to the ground right after I stumble back up. To hammer at a wall that refuses to crumble. To feel fragments of my will shatter away merely because you don't listen. My heart aches and sometimes even tears can't cure it.

It just hurts knowing you'll never see things the way I do and there's nothing I can do about it...

take a breath, i pull myself together.