::My Love::

 

YAY~ I'm happy and hyper~ xD Which should be insane since Maths and History tuition await my awesomely presence. Great. -.-  Anywho~ I really have no idea why I'm updating when I have absolutely nothing to say. Ah well, most of my spams are nonsensical and filled with utter gibberish anyway~ And yet, you like them? So so weird~ xP

Ah~ School has turned out to be pretty okay these past few days. Guess it just took a little getting used to. ^^ Plus, my lessons are waaaay more interesting. But, as usual, there are times when I've almost thwacked my head on the table thanks to being  drowsy and when my mind has wandered off to someplace far far away in the starry sky. =3 Sadly, I always end up getting dragged back to plain old planet Earth. Ewwie~ >w<

Ugh, anywho~ I gotta go. It's like 5 minutes and counting till my awesome limousine *coughcoughcrappyvancoughcough* arrives so~ I better jet. x3 Toodles~~ ^^

you're nothing short of my everything~ ♥

::Being Free::

 
 Whooaaa~ I can't believe I finally told them. xD Took me three months to do it too. How lame is that, eh? :3 Anyway~ It feels great to get that off my chest~ But, it kinda creeps me out how  I feel things are gonna end soon. >> Then again, it's not like I didn't expect it. x] Call it me being a pessimist~ But I have that sinking feeling in my gut when I know I'm screwed. Like when having to hand in homework. >~<

Moving on~ School was incredibly awesome today. Probably since I sat next to Meredith today. =P While I realize this is selfish, I wish I was always sitting with her. School doesn't seem like such a lousy drag when there's someone to laugh with. =] Still, it's sooo odd. I'm surrounded by people, some near and some far, yet I feel so lonely. Is this those life problems people talk about? Frankly, I'd rather a mid life crisis when I get older. x3

Anyways, I'm gonna go and drown this stupid and absolutely absurd loneliness in something more...productive. Bwahahahaha~ Here I come cookies and SuJu~ Be afraid. Be very afraid. >:3

make a wish. take a chance. make a change. and breakaway~ ♥

::Tell Me Goodbye::

First off, whoa~ I haven't updated my blog in ages~ Then again, what else is new? xD But I'm pretty sure the neglect is due to Gin-kun breaking down and all my stories flying out the window. == Hence why Waiting For Dawn is gonna be put on hold. Bah~ This is definitely what I call Depression 101. -.-

Anywho~ Updates galore~ Weeelll, I went to prom on the 23rd of Dec. It wasn't exactly what I imagined it to be, but it didn't suck as badly as I thought it might. x] All in all, I had a pretty nice time. Course, I pretty much glued myself to my chair. Dancing is so not my forte. xP Sadly, that includes most things too.

Oh yeah, school started up. I gotta say, before, I had the slightest urge to attend so I'd at least goof off with my friends. Now, I dread getting up every morning. Hence why I'm here minutes before school. x3 Seriously though, there's now zero appeal to school and I feel lonely most of the time. .w. So not what I dreamed of. T-T

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it does. I don't know why, but something is gnawing at me. I hate this feeling. Why does it feel as though I've lost my trust in you? I'm sure I've jumped to conclusions, but I didn't think it would hurt this much. Sometimes, I wish I could disappear forever and have the world say goodbye.

tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye, those hands that embraced me.

::Breezy Days::

Aaah~ The days seem to be flickering by so fast~ Just a second ago it was the first day of the month and now it's the end of the first week. =/ Sometimes I just wish time would stop breezing by and just pause to let me catch my breath. ><

The past is a tempting place to live in and the future...well, it leaves less to be desired for. >> But still, the present is pretty awesome, despite the disappearing time, so I guess I'll just have to make do then. XD Plus, there's an epicly epic teddy and cookies in the present, so why not? =P

Weeelll~ These past few days, I've been busy lazing about and getting conned to go for prom. I gotta admit though, I'm kinda curious and a tad bit interested in it. ^^;; But after a chat with a moronic douche, I'm worried about going. == Argh, whatever~ I'll just update my story to vent. xD Toodles~ ^^

time is like the wind, it lifts the light and leaves the heavy. ♥

::I'm Back~::

I'm actually afraid to calculate how long I've been gone. .w. Ooo laa laa~ Many things happened these past few months~ Of course, some I'd gladly share, but the others..meh, it's a secret for now. x) It was humiliating enough to share with my Bubb which is weird since I tell her pretty much everything under the sun. xP I never want to go through that process again. >< And I thought the hardest thing was admitting who I had a crush on. Ugh. Junk. ==

Anywho, moving on to less awkward stuff~ xP Due to enduring Banana Split ramble about it at any free moment, I eventually picked up You're Beautiful and watched it. Oh. Em. Gee. It was so so so cool~ Ohmigosh, Jeremy! He's so damn freaking cute and naive and funny and all out adorable! xD I love that cutesy blondie with all my heart~ ♥ I swear he can do no wrong in my eyes. =] Sadly, I still think Boys Over Flowers is waaaay better than this drama though. Shush~ Don't tell Banana Split. XD

Anyways~ Looks like I left my story hanging once again. >w> Lawl, I'm sure Bubb knows how often that's happened before. x3 Okies then, time to update~ xD Toodles~

procrastination is the only field i can forever excel in. ♥

::Things I'll Never Say::

Gosh darn it, I cant sleep tonight. == Staring at the ceiling doesn't seem to be helping either. >< Amazingly enough, now at 12.38 in the morning, all alone in my quiet little room with the AC blasting, I feel depressed. O.o Such a totally weird state to be in right now. -__- Plus, no Bubb to vent to. Sorry me bloggie, but looks like you gotta suffer my emo-ness again. =P

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At times, I truly can't help but wonder. Could it be that we're just avoiding all of it? Running so far away to prevent having to face the bitter truth. Hiding so deep within the shadows so it may never find us. Burying our hearts so far gone until we are oblivious to those hidden feelings. Between you and I, I think these efforts of ours are just wasting our precious time. Moments in time that could have been spent in so many better ways.

Those burning feelings we stifle deep in our hearts, lurking at the corners, begging to be released... I'm always torn between two choices. Should they be brought to light and spoken aloud when the cost is hurting your fragile heart? Or should they be tucked away in silence as we move on in our lives despite it killing me slowly inside? Every time I think of this, a single thought plagues my mind: Which would be better? To be hurt or to hurt...?

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tears are the words in your heart that could never be spoken,

so i'm glad to stand under the pouring rain,

for none can see the caged words leave my heart silently.

::Ramblings::

Gah. I can't remember the last time I touched my blog. .w.  Seriously, my mind can't grasp a single shred of the memory. @u@ I offer thee my humblest apologies me precious beloved bloggie~ T.T I promise I shall try my best to update as often as I possibly can~ Oh damn, I forgot. PMR is slowly inching closer and closer. I wont even have time to come online. T^T

Yeah, though it's a couple of months away and my despicable trials are next week, it still hasn't registered into my brain that my doomsday is closer than ever. >.< Looking around to see my friends studying their butts off isn't fazing me either. .-.  Long story short, I'm such a goner. Gosh, I still haven't touched my books. My Dad will burn me where I stand. .w.

Bah~ I'll just tell my stressing brain to shove it. xD Time to cheer up~ I solemnly swear I shall - attempt to - study the best I can~ That means no giving up after the first thirty seconds and snoozing on my books. -coughs- Then, to kill some so-called stress, I shall sneak off to the Asaban in Taylor's, stalk hot cosplayers, daydream about Adam Lee Tek Jun and get high on my epic songs~ xD

when the clouds clear and the sun is here,

with your hand in mine, i shall give it my all,

and, i promise you, we will touch the impossible sky. ♥