::Everybody Talks::

Yesh, I've finally pulled out of my holiday mode to blog. :D One week seems so little now that it's almost halfway gone. I wish I had the whole month off. >w< Then again, I'd probably just ask for a whole year off. xD Or a time machine to skip to the past and just stay there. I wonder if that makes me a coward though. >.> Oh well, I know I'm no fearless Hercules to begin with anyway. Raoul is proof of that. x] By the way, this is gonna be a super short vent post since I'm in a weird mood. =I

I wish you would ask what's wrong. I wish you would think something's off about me. I wish you would check on me. I wish you wouldn't make me think of something I forced myself to forget. I wish you wouldn't make me doubt myself. I wish you wouldn't care. I wish I would stop asking so much of you. I wish I could just be content. I wish it wouldn't hurt so much. I wish I would stop wishing since wishing won't get you what you want or even need.

for once, I hate being on a rollercoaster.

The magic I believed in is slowly fading away.

::Up All Night::

Rawr, I'm alive. ;A; I loath exam week with a deep passion. -.- My lazehness and procrastination really shine during this time. Plus, I've lost so many brain cells. T^T Officially gonna ban studies. >.< Plus, it's kinda worrisome since this is only the first day. Oh Gawd. OAO Meh, at least there's one school-free week~ I gets to sleep again. =D Now that I think about it, Bubb is probably right. I'm so gonna die young. At least I'm still wrinkle-free then~ XD

Anywho~ Physics was a serious killer today. T^T I wonder how Fwuffy can like this so much. -.- But, Chem was my saving grace~ Plus, the stash of cookies at home was just the pick up I needed. ♥ I might jinx myself by saying this, but I think it'll be alright. =] Even if it don't, I'll just go on a Tom Felton spree~ He makes my day. :) Damn that adorable British accent of his. x3

By the way, I'm cringing internally, but I think I'm starting to like like One Direction. >w< ARGHdamnyouPrincess. == Actually, I should blame the adorable accents, swoon worthy smiles and cliche girl-ish songs that I oddly like which is sau weird. >.> Well, to be perfectly clear, I have the hots for Niall and am completely proud of it. xP Then again, I'm always proud of all my addictions. ^^

KEEP CALM AND LOVE NIALL xD

I wanna stay up all night and find a girl and tell her she's the one~ ♥

::Rumor Has It::

Rawr, I hate Monday mornings. == Especially when all my awesome dreams seem to happen on this day. T^T Times when I pity the alarm clock I hate. It gets hated when it does wakes me up. It gets hated when it doesn't wake me up. XD I'm certain it's probably talking to some toaster shrink about it's messed up life~ Oh butterscotch, I think I'm high. -.- And what kinda curse is that? xP

Anywho, I'm feeling a little bummed thanks to the dreams. >w< The first dream was about me actually waking up, convincing my Dad to let me skip and went about doing awesomely awesome stuff for a day. ._. I knew it was too good to be true. No way in hell would my Dad be conned that fast. xD The second one was, well, weird to the point where I won't explain. @@ But that's probably cause I can't remember it anymore~ I wish I did. x]

Moving on, I finally have a free weekend. =D Yeah babeh~ I nearly busted out my victory dance when tuition got cancelled. x3 Course, I don't think it'll mean much anyway. Homework is still a pile of junk the size of Mt. Everest. -o- My constant procrastination ain't helping either~ ^^ Then again, when have I ever cared? A little bit of trouble is always welcomed~ ♥ Sadly, the teachers are stricter now than before. >.> Challenge Accepted. =3

OhcrapIhaven'tfinishedmyhomeworkyetsoLATER. TT^TT

sure, she's got it all~

but, baby, is that really what you want?~ ♥

::What Makes You Beautiful::

I officially think I've lost the urge to write these days. ._. Maybe I'm just going through a prolonged writer's block? Or maybe I'm becoming a boring person that hates dinosaurs and thinks fudge is terribly drab? >w> No way. xD Dinosaurs kick ass and my munchies addiction will never fade~ ♥ Whether that's good or not, I'll tell you later. x] I should fret over meaningless junk like this. Life will be way easier. =P [OkayyeahI'mjustcrappingtopostsomething~]

Anyway, time for a healthy dose of ramblings~ Yay? =D I'm starting to feel the normal routine is getting a little boring. Never did I think I'd get bored this fast. This was supposed to be the exception. >.> Perhaps this is just a fleeting moment. Perhaps I'm just whinging in the middle of the night. xD I'm thinking too much. Or too little. Argh, I wanna worry about my dwindling attention to Chazzy. Not this ridiculous notion. -o- I'm making a vow. I shall not, will not and never will think about this. Unless Bubb brings it up and I feel like talking instead of distracting. ^^

Moving on, I'm proud/aghast to inform you that: I. Officially. Have. Make. Up. =O Yesh, I bought some a while back. Yesh, it burnt a hole in my pocket. Yesh, my brother stared at me like I'm an alien. Yesh, even I thought I was an alien too. Yesh, feel free to gag. XD Well, I only got it since I promised myself I would someday. *high fives seven year old me* Time to experiment like crazeh. >=D Regardless, I still stick to my opinion of pretteh girls being natural and make up free~ ♥

Alrighty, I'm off to attempt sleep and find a new Photoshop project if sleep fails. x] God damn it, I really need to get a life outside my lappy or re-discover my undying urge to read books again. >w< With my laziness and two missing leprechauns to lend me awesome books, both possibilities look pretty bleak. .__. Oh well, more time to bum around and sleep in. =D

I love being a hypocrite.
I hate being a hypocrite.
I love Chester Bennington. ^-^

if only you saw what I can see,
you'll understand why I want you so desperately~ ♥

::Endlessly::

Dear Lord, it's been over a month since my last post. But now, the I Had Time excuse is dead. Like seriously dead. =~= Everyday is filled with either tuition, studying with Losh on weekends, irritating Danny, unfinished school homework and Fwuffay time. I seriously don't know how I'm gonna manage later. Rather, I don't even wanna think about it. TwT If I'm completely honest, I want a teensy break. Nothing big. Just two days to sleep like I need to. Regardless, with all said and done, I don't regret a thing. I need all this knowing how utterly lazy I really am. xD

Anywho, that's how life has been. Basically an endless juggle where I still manage to procrastinate in the middle. Dayum, I'm awesome. x] All these things keep me away from thinking. That, is totally wicked to me. I hate thinking. Whenever I ponder about things during insomniac nights, insecurities kick in and I wind up doubting everything I believed. I mean everything. Confidence isn't the issue though. I guess I'm just nervous or something. A bunch of jittery nerves maybe? Deep hidden worries I never knew existed? Bah, I don't know~ I am avoiding it after all. =P

Speaking about avoiding junk, I'm still in a predicament. ._. My instincts are telling me they can lead the way. They won't ever let me fall. My mind screams the risks. I wouldn't care so much if it wasn't you. Officially in too deep already, I think. >w> Most of the times I think it's the best way to do it. Other times I think it's the worst possible thing. Can I really let you go that easily? Asking around is a dud too. ._. Everyone keeps giving me the generic answer or offers me a semi-solution. I don't wanna since I shouldn't be asking so much of you when I'm not returning it in at least equal value. Gosh darn it. =/

Besides that, I'm just surviving. For some reason, everything feels lonelier. Kinda like a puzzle piece that fitted seamlessly suddenly disappeared. I can't place it, not even now, and I wonder if I ever will. To not have noticed it falling must mean it's irrelevant. Yet to feel the echo of loss every day? Whether it's important or not, I can't say. But I really need to find a replacement or fill up the missing part with something else. It's bothering me now in ways I can never describe. @@

Love is so complex.

Love isn't complex.

People make it complex.

::Shake It Up::

Oh. Mai. Gawd. It's already another year and only now I'm updating mai bloggie. ._. I'm so sowie! >w< I honestly had the time to spare to update these past few months (oh crap, now I feel like an awful person. ==) but I didn't bother. Partially because after August was a whirlwind of exams and meaningless stress. Partially because I was too distracted by other things to vent to you. Partially because I'm too caught up in running away. Mostly because I'm just plain lazy though. xD Once again, I apologize. v_v

I'd like to say I have tons to update you about everything that happened these past few months. But, I honestly can't remember anything. ._. I feel like I barely lived the last year and now the new year is charging past. Turning back for a moment, I realize I missed out a lot. I realize I didn't cherish moments that were meant to be cherished. I realize I was a bit of an arse at times. I realize I made so many happy moments until they have blurred. I realize I made friends in places I never knew were even possible. I may not have really lived last year, but I made it count in all the ways that make it seem it doesn't count. x)

Alrighty~ Time for my New Year resolution? =P I never bothered to make one before. Why? I'd never follow through with it. XD This year is gonna be different though. I've got nothing to lose after all. ^^ After much thought, I decided to have a simple yet meaningful resolution. Have. Fun. Even now I can feel the weight of 2012 bearing down. It signifies a stressful year with loads of hardships when it starts and heartache when it ends. I refuse to be swept up in all that havoc. >w< I wanna have fun this year. I'll make that possible somehow. :D Honestly, these next twelve months are gonna be the last time I see all these awesome people at one place. I'll be damned if I waste it. -o-

Eh, now I wanna vent out some stuff. I haven't done that enough anyway. x] Anyway, this year is the one I always dreaded to arrive. After all the suffering which will surely flash by, I'm gonna be alone. I'll have to manage myself in a place far from everything I've known. Of course, there's plenty of other insecurities I have. Will I do well enough? How am I ever gonna make it? Should I leave? They keep dancing in my head and shaking up my confidence. Not like I had much of that in the first place anyway. xD Which is why I'm desperate to have fun. I need to avoid getting caught up in this. >.>

Anyway, tadaa~ The nutshell version of the past few months. ^-^ Of course, I would be in a jittery mess if I didn't write. Gosh~ That totally eases my frustration and anxiety. =] Now, I'm off to hunt for food with the pinky promise to update as often as I can, bloggie. ♥ And, of course, the plea of you not hitting me in the more possible chance of falling through on that. >.> I need to start making promises I actually keep. =P

your everyday repetitive life, right now, shake it up!

your repeated thoughts of sadness, right now, shake it up!

::Cross My Heart::

I wonder why is it that I always update whenever exams are near? It's like I'm doing everything I can to stall from studying. XD But firstly, I must say I'm so so so sorry bloggie! TwT Since my last results didn't sit well with me Dad, he took Gin-kun away! >< True, I could have updated during my one hour slot. >> But between spamming and dozing off, I didn't bother. I'm such a mean person. T_T Then again, life has been pretty quiet so I had nothing to say anyway. x)

Well, we celebrated me Dad's 50th birthday over the weekend. :) It wasn't as grand as I thought it would be, but it was great nonetheless. The highlight definitely was the look on his face when a hundred family and friends yelled Suprise! He looked stunned. xP He had a fantabulous time and must have enjoyed all the sugary words everyone said about him. x] I got to meet a buddy I missed dearly so I didn't die of boredom. I mean, c'mon, I was surrounded by oldies the entire night. =P

Well, since I can't think of more happy stuff, time for my dilemmas~ Wheee~ xD First up, I just realized how quick time is. There's only a little bit left of the year now. I shudder to think of my final year. Despite having a plan, it's still kinda scary to think about the future. .__. Plus, all me morning buddies are seniors. Next year, my mornings are gonna be super quiet with all of them gone. T^T I wonder if that's payback for wanting more alone time? ^^lll Oh well, I have zero intentions on finding out. xP

Now for my most important problem: a prezzie. =O How the heck am I gonna go about this? == The lack of ideas is driving me crazy. I'm so nervous I'm gonna mess it up bad; or worse, the prezzie is hated. ._. Of course you won't say it to my face, but there's always a chance you won't like it. Plus, I suck at doing fancy smancy effects but I have to. This is really special. >.< I have no idea what else I can do. T_T Then, once it's done, I'm sure I'm gonna second guess giving it to you. Gosh, I'm such a wreck. -o-

and I do want to show you,

I will run to you for you,

'til I can't stand on my own anymore~ ♥